Saturday, February 28, 2015

Be Careful With the Bananas!


         Our lives are based on relationships. Relationships with family, friends, our church, with God, employers, employees and believe it or not, everyone who crosses our path.   Too often, however , we get so wrapped up in taking care of ourselves and get so focused on  our own little world that we don't give ourselves fully to the people that are around us, even the ones closest to us.  From time to time we need to remember what it takes to nurture the relationships in our lives.  Are you all there for people? Are you committed to anybody other than yourself? Ouch.

Is there really anything so important in your day that you cannot be interrupted? Most of the things that surround us are just distractions that hinder our relationships.  We need to get a vision of what we want our relationships to look like and then take the steps necessary to reach those goals. Perhaps there are things that need cleared from our schedules. Perhaps there are things you need to work on in your own life to be able to be more transparent.

I did a fun activity with the kids from our youth group last week.   Each child was paired up with a partner. Each pair was given a knife, a plate and a banana.   The instructions were to cut the banana up, deciding as partners who would do the cutting and how many pieces they would cut it into.  I had only one girl team and they quietly discussed their plan. They made one neat slice across the middle of the banana, then stepped away from their plate. The younger boys made several neat slices and stepped away from their plates.  Two of my older boys in the group, however, sliced and diced their banana every which way until it was almost mashed up enough to feed the new baby born into our church family. They finally stepped away from their plate.

  They all waited for further instruction as I looked around at each team’s plate before smiling and saying, “Now put it back together.”  Jaws dropped.  You can imagine which team had their jaws drop the furthest.   I continued, “On the table, you will find clothes pins, tape, yarn and tooth picks. Your banana must look exactly as it did when I first handed it to you.”   The girls gently took their banana and secured the two halves with tooth picks then wrapped a piece of tape around it. Some of the boys got the inside of the banana looking pretty close but could not get the peel back on.  The older boys worked fast and furious, but truly there was no hope for their poor banana.

When every was cleaned up we discussed the lesson which you have probably figured out by now.   When we cut up and damage our relationships, most of the time we want to try to reconcile them and put them back together, but they will never be the same again. Even with the girls who only made one cut, there was still a scar.   The ones who mutilated their “relationship” tried very hard to get it back together, but there was no hope at all. That “relationship” could never be repaired.  It can really give us a visual and hopefully help us to understand that the relationships around us are so fragile.  

One parent and I were talking later about the experiment and after I said that those relationships would never be the same, she agreed, then said, “Sometimes they can look better.”  I pondered those words and she was absolutely right.  I thought about our marriages specifically.  We can say and do things to hurt our spouses. We can go through tough times, but as we work through it, it becomes a milestone that we can look back on and remind ourselves that we were overcomers.  We are stronger as we learn to weather the storms together.   I can see that happening with friendships and other relationships as well. The kids were able to use reinforcements to put the bananas back together. They SECURED them with other items to make the banana hold together stronger. We can do the same thing. We can SECURE our relationships with the foundation of God’s Word, with the new tools of communication, with new eyes of compassion toward the other. Our relationships can be strengthened through the lessons learned in the storms.   

I want to encourage you to slow down and really take the time to see who is around you. Take a moment and really look at your child.   Your spouse and children are around every day, but when is the last time you really looked at them and appreciated who they were? I challenge you to take the time to truly see people who come across your path this week. Look people in the eye and smile. Relationships are important and reconciliation can be so healing. If there are things that need to be taken care of, please do it. You are not guaranteed tomorrow.  Live your life with no regrets in those relationships!

Monday, February 23, 2015

Lose Sight of the Shore!


Lose Sight of the Shore!! 

            “You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”  I came across this quote this week and it reminded me of the many steps I have had to go through as a pastor’s wife, as an author, and as one who wants to improve as a public speaker.

            Only fifteen years ago, I was a complete introvert. I would rather cross the street than chance having to look up and say hi to someone. People terrified me!    I had the perfect job for my “condition” as I was a medical transcriptionist and was able to sit in my own little office with headphones on all day and not talk to anybody.

When my family moved to Idaho, however, the only job opportunity that I had near home was at the local bank, where I had to work with the public all day long. My husband says that I began to “blossom”.   I enjoyed my customers and it was the one thing I missed when I chose to come home and be a stay-at-home mom.   My time at the bank however, was used as a stepping stone to help me be more comfortable around people because in 2006, my husband was called into the ministry.  The Lord was gracious in the fact that he slowly helped me to overcome my fear of people because now I was in a position where I would have to deal with a lot of people on many different levels. I quickly learned that people all needed to be ministered to differently.   It was quite the challenge for me.  

I had one woman in the church who completely empowered me. I have never been a great or confident decision maker and when I would ask her what her opinion was as far as preparing lessons for the youth group or Sunday School, she would turn it around and say, “Well, what do you think?”  With much uncertainty I would tell her my thoughts and she would smile and exclaim, “That sounds like a wonderful idea!”  She helped me to start moving away from the shore a little bit at a time and before I knew it I couldn’t see the shore anymore as I was planning events for the church, finding curriculum and planning lessons for the youth group, Sunday School, discipleship, women’s studies and fundraisers! 

Soon I found myself back at the shore when  I was asked to be a speaker at a Women’s Retreat.  I found myself getting off the boat and running inland as far as I could.   I had to speak at seven sessions.   Panic rose in me.   I did prepare my sessions….but ripped them up as I shouted to God that He could not make me get back on the boat.  The next day I taped up my papers and packed my suitcase.   I was not graceful at all as I talked. I shook and had to read every word off my paper.   I went to the bathroom and cried after each session as my nerves got the best of me.   How the Lord ever used any of my words to make a difference, I will never understand, but He did.  

As I was asked to do other speaking events, I graduated to using only an outline. I could tell the boat was starting to drift a little further from the shore.   I spoke and recorded a testimony that I gave to a church youth group and even got brave enough to send it to a Christian radio program, as it was in line with the topic of one of my books I had written. It wasn’t able to be used at that time, but I could feel the wind catching the sails of my boat, pushing me further out to sea.  I was asked to speak for a High School Career Days and did my first PowerPoint presentation and didn’t use any notes at all! That was a huge milestone for me.     

Last week I had the privilege of being on a panel with six other women authors. I realized that with it being a panel discussion I would not be able to prepare anything as I would have no idea what the audience would ask me about.   I got a bit nervous as people kept coming and coming into the event. I forced myself to mingle and smile.  We were finally called onto the stage and we introduced ourselves and our books.  People asked questions about writing and publishing and about our topics.   I never would have guessed the response that this short time on the panel would generate.   People were thanking us over and over again for being real and for being transparent and for encouraging them.   Little did they know how much the seven of us were truly encouraged!   This has fanned a flame in our hearts, letting us know that we have something to offer others! 

My boat is in the middle of the ocean right now.   I can’t see the shore…..and I’m not afraid.   I’m going to cross this ocean!

I would love to invite you to meet  the other women authors with whom I have had the privilege of learning and growing.   Their stories will bless you and encourage you!    http://idahocreativeauthorsnetwork.com/


Published works available at http://www.amazon.com/JoEllen-Claypool/e/B008I6EGR6