Christmas Tree Fun!

I know it's after Christmas, but it is never too early to plan for next Christmas. Wal-Mart brings things out earlier and earlier. I thought I would get a jump start on them this year. My mom has been an inspiration in doing things in a different manner during the holidays. She has had beautiful decorations and since she collects teapots, one of her Christmas trees was topped with a teapot and then cups glued to saucers were placed around the tree.  I love decorating the tree but wanted something different. One year I did a book tree. I love books and thought it would be the perfect theme for me, but it was A LOT of work. It took a ton of books just to do a small one.  When finished we wrapped lights around it and topped it with an angel.

The following year, my folks were going to visit over Thanksgiving. We decided to have an early Christmas with them. Again, wanting to make it special and different we decided to have a turkey tree. Oh! Did we have fun with that!  We collected fall-colored decorations and orange garland and a turkey topper.  Instead of stocking we made paper sack cornucopias. We didn’t think we could do any better than that…but we did!

The next year, I was looking up ideas on Pinterest….(dramatic pause to reflect on how much I LOVE Pinterest). I started seeing pictures of ladder trees. People are so creative! I rarely can come up with ideas on my own but once one gets planted in my brain, I can go with it from there. This particular year, I also had the help of my older son and daughter-in-law who added to the creativity.   We were going to bring in a metal ladder until my daughter-in-law spotted an old wooden one out in our garage.  It was too tall to set up inside the house so my husband sawed off several feet from the bottom. We had gone to town with somewhat of an idea of what we wanted and were thrilled when we found giant Christmas balls. We rounded up some fishing string and started attaching the balls and stars. Then the guys decided it would be cool to have a couple of rifles strapped to the legs. We topped it with a cowboy hat. Again, my son’s wife suggested we use gunny sacks for the tree skirt. We contacted the country café down the road, who just so happened to have some and she went to work with needle and thread gathering some sections to make it more decorative. We finished it with some soft white  lights.   It was the highlight of my evening to shut the lights off and sit in front of my ladder tree!  

We have NOT been able to top that one yet. I love that there are no real rules as to how we have to decorate. I love that we can create our own traditions with our families.  My husband has been bugging me for years for a real tree so I may have to do that this year. It would definitely be something different! I would love for you to comment on here some of the ways you have decorated during the holidays!

How do you know this song?

I am sure my husband thinks that I have a split personality.  He is a pastor, making me a pastor’s wife. I clarify that because I had a new friend introduce herself telling me that her husband was a pastor, but she was NOT a pastor’s wife.  However, I am. I try my best to come beside him and support him and help with the different activities at the church. He and I have both been on the praise team at church.  When we go to town we listen to talk radio or the Christian music station.

One day we got into the car and a commercial was on the radio. Soon after a rap song came on and I started bouncing to the beat…then I started singing the words. In my peripheral vision I see my husband staring at me. I look back and freeze mid beat. “What?”

“How in the world could you possibly know this song?” 

I straighten myself into the prim and proper position (as prim and proper as a country pastor’s wife can muster) and explained simply, “Well, when the boys and I go to town, they take turns with the music stations. When Eli is up front, he likes old rock or the Christian station. When it is up to Chris, he likes the country station or hip hop…..obviously Chris was the last one to sit up front.” Simple. That still didn’t explain how I knew the songs. I just explained that it was a catchy tune and we spend a lot of time in the car!

That’s okay, I do like to administer the shock and awe treatment once in awhile. He would always laugh when I would be drawn to people who wore dreadlocks in their hair. I told him I wanted to do it. He didn’t think I was serious. However, I met a clerk at a store one day who had them in her hair. She was just starting them so I asked how it was done. She told me how and said I could try them out without fully committing to it just to see if I would like it.

Well, lo and behold we were having a wedding at the church the next week and it was a nerd themed wedding. Everyone was dressing as a nerd or superhero or whatever. I asked the bride to be if I could go as a hippie nerd. Her mother commented “You’re coming as yourself?” Ha. Ha. I wasn’t laughing anymore though when I started looking through my dresser drawers and realized that I didn’t have to go shopping for my outfit. She was right!  

So I took the opportunity to put my hair into temporary dreadlocks and had a blast with it!  It really didn’t take me too long to do and only about two hours to comb it out the next day but I had fun. I  think my husband was a little fearful that I might want to keep them. I let him think that for a day.

I love my husband and he loves me. I know he won’t leave me if I am wearing dreads and singing to Snoop Dog. It’s my job to keep him on his toes…and I do!

God's Amazing Creatures

God's creatures are amazing to me...except when you find a bat in the sink or a mouse in the washing machine.  Yes, these have both happened to me personally. Years ago, I worked in Rapid City, South Dakota for a psychiatrist. The offices were set up in an old, two story, brick house. Since I was the receptionist, I was usually the first one to open up in the morning. My first duty was to make coffee in the break room.  I put a new filter in and filled it with grounds.   I took the pot over to the sink and went to turn on the water when I realized someone had left the filter and coffee grounds from the day before in the drain. A bit disgusted, I started to reach down to grab it but leaped backwards when I saw a tiny claw emerge from the drain next to what I thought was the filter. In fact, it was a bat and I was not a happy camper!  Thank goodness, one of the doctors came in immediately after the incident and asked if I was okay. I pointed to the sink, still trying to get my heebie jeebies under control. He approached the sink and I loudly informed him that there was a bat. He said, "There is no bat in the....there's a bat in the sink!" He quickly found a towel and covered it then placed a large jar over it. We called animal control because who else would you call? They politely informed us that they did not handle bats. After a brief go around and losing that battle our only option was to take it outside ourselves.  I say 'our' to make me sound brave, but I actually had nothing to do with that part AT ALL. No thank you!

As far as the mouse? We live in the country, so mice are a common occurrence. However, mice in my washing machine are NOT a common occurrence.   I was doing my laundry one day and had emptied the dryer. As I was loading the clothes from the washer into the dryer, I realized that there was a clump of nylons left in the bottom of the washer. The only reason I stopped before grabbing it was because it dawned on me that I rarely wear nylons. Why would there be a pair in the laundry? I was not that far behind on my chores.  Upon closer inspection, I realized that the nylons had a tail...and a little pointy nose!  A mouse! Now it was not the fact that I had a mouse in my midst that freaked me right out but rather the fact that the ONLY way that mouse could have gotten into my washing machine was by ME putting it there.   Heebie jeebies all over again!  By the grace of God that thing did not wiggle its way through the dry clothes, up my arm and down my back. If that had been the case, I would have to be severely medicated in order to sleep at night!

So yes, God's creatures are amazing, in their own little communities and not invading my territory.   I wish that were possible sometimes. Beware of bats and mice!

The Empty Kennel

This is a bit of a sad post, but I captured a moment and seen something that I had never witnessed before.  We love animals and there is not a doubt that I get attached to them. However, I also understand that they are animals and their lifespan can be quite short, especially depending on where you live.

We live out in the country and our animals are blessed to have three acres to call their own. But there is always the one who is not satisfied with anything at all that resembles a boundary. That would be our Benji, a high-strung poodle terrier.  He entered our home and turned it upside down with his shenanigans. He discovered two new friends, Kiko (chihuahua terrier) and Royal (boxer) and he brought life into those two dogs like I had never seen before.

Royal would stand by the couch and Benji would jump on his back and onto the couch again, back and forth until the fight was on. Those dogs would chase each other around the house and wrestle on the floor til they were out of breath. Benji was like a ninja, gaining so much speed he was able to run on the back of the couch parallel to the wall! When he needed a breather, he would hide under the rocking chair, smart enough to know that Royal couldn’t reach him and there was not enough room for Kiko to invade. Just as Royal would turn his back, Benji would dart out, bite Royal’s ankle and run again. They entertained us for hours!

We have a large,  fenced in backyard in which the dogs could exercise their freedom. I know Benji looked at the fence and thought, “Fence…boundary? I will not have it! Challenge? Oh yeah!” He was wiry enough that he could wiggle himself through the square openings in the fence.  The world became his playground. We would open the door and call his name and you never knew from which direction you would see the bouncy mop coming.

One day, we called his name and he didn’t come.  We figured he was in the pasture exploring and gave him some time. We called again and no Benji.  My husband got worried and went to look for him. He opened the front door moments later and quietly said, “Have the boys get a shovel and come help me.”  We live in the country but at the bottom of our hill is an old highway. He had ventured too far and got hit by a car. I was a bit upset that the person didn’t stop. There was only one of four houses to which the pup could belong. 

My husband had laid Benji in the front yard. We all came out and had left the door open.  The other two dogs, who never come out the front door, cautiously approached the body. Kiko would sniff at his playmate and then turn towards us and whine and whimper, then go back and sniff again as if begging us to help his friend. Royal didn’t seem to have much emotion at first. We took the other dogs inside and the boys prepared a resting place for our once-feisty fellow.

We keep the dogs in their own kennels at night which sit in the kitchen. Kiko’s small one sets on the floor next to Royal’s large one. Benji’s kennel fit perfectly on top of Royal’s. I was doing dishes, still sad over the days events and glad I was in the house alone as tears kept filling my eyes, but I remained in control. That is, until I turned around and saw Royal resting his chin on top of his kennel, peering into Benji’s sleeping quarters. Then I lost it. I called Royal’s name, but he refused to move. He just stood there frozen, sniffing, and trying to process where his buddy was.  

Kiko has tried to fill the gap and get Royal to play but to no avail. It breaks my heart but it showed me that animals also have a mourning process and thoughts that consume their minds.  Go give your animals a big hug and love on them!

Chaos vs Creativity

We started a new women’s Bible study this week.  The woman leading it did a great job of incorporating the new adult coloring book idea into the introduction of this study. We talked about learning to color nicer as we mature. We wouldn’t expect  a one year old to color in the lines. Are her scribbles ugly? No! Because we understand that it is coming from a one year old.  God is patient with us as we learn to color our lives but wants to have us relinquish the crayons to Him so that He can color our lives. Does he erase the scribbles we have made? No! He blends the colors to make a beautiful picture!

That day’s study was wonderful, but something has been bugging my brain all week. The leader had us choose a picture from the coloring book. Then she went around the room and asked each of us why we chose the pictures we did. One woman chose hers because it had butterflies on it. Another chose her because of the flowers.  An older woman in the group said she picked hers out based on simplicity. A newer woman held hers up and commented on the symmetry of it. Then I held up mine.   I revealed to the group, “I chose it because it had no order.”

That statement has bothered me all week and as I pondered the choices of the other women, I realized how similar our coloring pictures were to our individual lives. I looked at my picture again. It was probably the most chaotic, disorderly, random design of shapes there was in the book. It was like every created shape was thrown into the air and someone scrambled around the room trying to catch each one on a piece of paper before it hit the floor. 

Chaos. Is that really an accurate description of my life? I wonder if we could use a more positive term…like Creative. I like that one much better. I know I’m a busy person. I do feel that my mind is as cluttered as my home.  I really don’t mean that in a negative way, but I homeschool and my kids are constantly going different directions. I am a pastor’s wife and am involved in several aspects of the ministry. I write and am always entertaining new topics to write about for blogs, magazines, and books. How am I supposed to organize chaos like that? Is it really to be considered chaos? Why does that word bother me so much? I don’t want to be associated with that word.

I have been told by several people that I bring a sense of calm to them. A chaotic person wouldn’t be able to do that, would they?  I feel I should look at the picture again and see if I can somehow bring a sense of order to the randomness. That would fall under Creativity, wouldn’t it?

I think I could be an orderly person. I do know how to clean my house. I know what has to be done. I would just rather be doing something else. Is that a bad thing?  I can put words in order. My bills are paid and my grocery lists are in order and everyone gets to where they need to be. That requires a certain sense of order, doesn’t it?  So maybe it’s just all the thoughts in my head that are all trying to get to the front of the line that need to be set in place.  Perhaps if I keep all that chaos in my head, until it can get out on paper, I will be okay.  Perhaps next time I will put more thought into the pictures in the coloring book so I don’t spend the following week beating myself up.  I know I overthink things; it’s what I do. Happy coloring!

There are some things we shouldn't sound happy about...

During my high school years, I took mainly business classes. I have worked many office jobs and held to the lessons I was taught about answering the phone with a smile on my face. By doing this simple act, you are able to automatically sound happy to the person on the other end of the line.  This is a great piece of advice. HOWEVER, I feel that there are just certain times you should not use that tactic.

We have all heard the commercials about different medications. I am sure we can all agree that we are left to wonder whether our ailment is really that hard to deal with after listening to the side effects.   I have normally heard a man’s voice rattle through the list so fast that you almost don’t have time to even comprehend what he is saying. The other day I was busy picking things up and heard a commercial in the background. I stopped, my hands full of laundry, and stared in disbelief at the TV. It was a woman’s voice. You could tell she was smiling as she spoke although you could not see her. She began in her cheery tone, “Talk to your doctor before taking this drug. There have been reports of difficulty swallowing while taking this medication as well as stomach upset, diarrhea, headaches, skin rashes, insomnia, and loss of vision. Depression, suicidal thoughts, and possible death may occur.”

There are just some things you should not sound happy about. I would think a voice of alarm would be more appropriate along with slowing down so we could catch all that information. Maybe a more compassionate, slow-speaking, male voice needs to be announcing the effects. Something along this line:   “I would like to inform you of the issues you may be up against if you take this medication.  You could possibly break out in a severe skin rash for which you would have to take another prescription.  Soak that in for a moment…. You may go blind. I want you to really think about whether your insomnia is all that bad for which you are considering this medication.  Even if you are able to sleep, you may fill your days with being sick to your stomach accompanied by migraines and diarrhea…. Are you still willing to try it?  How about trying a glass of hot milk first?”

I am not trying to make light of the conditions people suffer and I am not against medication.  Some of the effects just seem a bit extreme. I understand that people just want the suffering to end but at what cost?   My mind is still trying to wrap around what I heard.  I am left to wonder if this woman was trying too hard to do the best job she could or if the tactic of the cheery voice is to make the effects sound like they are really not that big of deal.  Maybe she was hired to be the Pied Piper of Pharmaceuticals. 

Say NO to Writer's Block!

I had a thrilling moment as an author and a homeschooling mom one day as I was reading over a report my son had written. I was complimenting him on his paragraph structure and grammar. His response was,  "I'm doing a lot better than I thought I was going to fer shizzy". Hearing the words “fer shizzy” come out of his mouth took me off guard and made me laugh. 

We returned to the paper and I pointed out that there were a couple times that he used three full lines to scream the word "Noooooooooooo..." He admitted that he would insert that into the story line when he would encounter writer's block. That was my thrilling moment. Like mother like son;  I don't believe in writer's block. He has heard me rant about that before. You should never have to worry about experiencing writer’s block. Just write something. He chose to write the word “Noooooooooooo” until something else came to him.  Good for him.

When you can’t think of anymore to write on  a certain project, move on to another project. You can write a poem, start a short story, jot down random thoughts, or make a grocery list, but WRITE  SOMETHING.  I have discovered something about my own self.   I was in a group one time where the facilitator would show a picture and we had to write a story about it.  I would have that picture in my mind and think for days about what to write. I decided to just sit down at the computer. I pulled up a new document and all of a sudden my fingers started flying over the keyboard as if each fingertip had a brain of its own. Within fifteen minutes, I had written my story and submitted it.  

Sometimes, we overthink things.  You can always go back and edit. Your first draft is not going to be perfect so just write something.   Don’t trip yourself up.  You can’t edit a blank piece of paper.  Happy writing!

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Confessions of a First-Time Flyer

I’ll be the first to admit that I am like the least adventurous person you will ever meet in your life! I know that about myself, but certain situations have a way of pushing you out of your comfort zone and what’s a gal to do?  My husband asked me one time if I wanted to go to Hawaii. I said, “Oh! Did they build a bridge? Because you are not getting me on a plane.” That subject was dropped. I have missed some pretty amazing trips because of my fear of flying although I had no basis for my fear. It just makes no sense to me how they can get a piece of tin loaded with luggage and hundreds of people up in the air for hours on end. 

Little did I know that cross selling bank products would be detrimental to my emotional status. I was not a good bank teller. I couldn’t get my drawer to balance to save my life, but I could cross sell the heck out of our products. It wasn’t because I understood the products or used many of them, but I received $5 for every referral.  Baby needed new shoes! Cha-ching! So every person who came to my line politely listened to my spiels about the newest product we had. I’m not sure if I had them genuinely interested or if they finally said yes so I would be quiet. Didn’t matter. Five bucks, five bucks, five bucks!

There were always generous incentives for us, but I tried to tone it WAY down when I found out that the prize was a flight to Park City, Utah for a bobsled ride with Olympic gold medalist, Jimmy Shea. Did I mention I was not adventurous? Do you see anything seriously wrong with this picture?  I tried not to talk to people. I tried to get them to go to the lines of the other tellers. But the day that I saw the president of the Bank come in with two other people and a camera…I knew I was doomed. “Congratulations, JoEllen, you have won a trip!” The pictures didn’t reveal  the terror in my mind. I hid it very well. 

Time went on and a year later I decided I was going to become a stay-at-home mom. My supervisor said, we need to schedule your trip before you leave. I assured her it was alright, but she was adamant.  It was scheduled and a group of friends came by my house to drop off a basket of silliness including a pack of Depends. I didn’t think that part was silly, I figured I would be needing those for sure. My husband went on the trip with me and consoled me as I gripped the  handles on the little plane we started out on and then chuckled at me once we got in the air and I couldn’t get my nose away from the window as I tried to decipher the clouds from the snow.

A couple of months ago, ten years after that first flight experience, I needed to travel to a funeral….alone this time. I had my husband to figure out the airport terminals before and now I had to do it. My brother arranged our flights so that I would meet him in Minnesota and told me he would be there before me. After printing my ticket, I told him that it didn’t have the gate number on it. He instructed that I would have to wait til I got there. My response was, “I don’t wait well. You find me!”

My husband dropped me off at the airport. I boarded and after finding my seat, I immediately pulled out my journal. Writing calms me and I could feel tears rising. I wanted to reach for my tissue pack but felt that would only be giving myself permission to cry. "What if I get sick," I thought. I pulled the seat pocket out in front of me to see if it would hold what I had to offer, need be. No I did not see the little paper bag til my brother pointed it out in Minneapolis. My seating partner immediately put on earphones, a universal sign (my brother informed me) meaning "No I do not want to talk." I peeked at people. Everyone looked so confident. As we began to move, I felt funny. It dawned on me then that maybe my aisle partner isn't so confident but is actually listening to a CD on How to Not Freak Out While Flying. I wanted to ask her if she had an extra set of headphones. All of a sudden we are in the air...and I wasn’t crying...Yay me! It was amazing. Did I mention the pilot was 12? He looked way too young to be flying a plane for sure. When my brother greeted me, I hugged him and sang the Pull Ups song: “I'm a big girl now!”  So a bobsled ride (which was AMAZING) and six times on a plane, my options are limitless now! 

Knives in My Bed, Nerf Darts in My Dishwater

I have had the privilege of raising boys with a couple of moments of sanity having my husband’s daughters stay with us. With only a couple of teenagers left at home, we fill our house with the noise of grandchildren on the weekends, two girls and a boy. When the older kids were still at home, I recall I would go to the Dollar Store and throw a couple of dart guns in the cart for the little ones.  My husband would follow behind me and throw enough in so that the four older kids each had one along with one for himself. We would walk into the house and my husband would start tossing a gun to each child and the fight was on.

I learned early on in my marriage that the fantasy of having a house dressed up as a Hallmark store like my mom’s beautiful home was never going to be a reality for me.  I adjusted. I tucked the China cupboard into the corner for safekeeping and the rest of the house was fair game.   Now we live in a house where the only thing separating the living room from the kitchen is a short, bar-style wall.   When things get rolling there are footballs being tossed back and forth, a small basketball being shot through the mini hoop hung over the hallway entrance, and nerf guns whizzing past, several times having landed in my dishwater.   The kids know that as long as there is no blood shed, pretty much anything goes. I’m cool like that and to quote my friend, Lisa, “and if there is blood shed take it outside so you don’t get it on my carpet.”

When the boys are helping put groceries away, many times they would just take the meat out to the garage freezer and put it in there, not bothering to actually take it out of the grocery sack. I was not going to criticize that. At least they were helping. I went out one summer day to grab a grocery sack out for supper. The kids were in the front playing and the garage door was open. I lifted the sack out, surprised at how light it was. I held it up in the sunlight and hollered at my boys, “Is this a gopher?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry Mom! Mr. Smith at church said he would teach me how to tan a hide!”

“On a gopher?! You’re lucky I discovered this or you would have ended up with gopher stew tonight!”    A couple of side notes here.  I have changed the name to Mr. Smith to protect the innocent (?).  Also, I am all for learning. We homeschool and it dawned on me then that my example of turning everything into a teachable moment had backfired on me.  I had actually bought a dissecting kit from a homeschool convention, not really thinking I would ever have to use it. My husband refused to be a part of this little project and my boys were aching to dissect the gopher and tan its hide. So we did. Once we got in, it wasn’t bad and I was thrilled that the boys were able to identify many of the inside parts. After that was done, they took it from there and I entered my garage one day to see a tiny little hide stretched out and tacked onto a board. 

Now that they are teenagers, they have calmed down a bit from their exploits. However, after we took the grandkids home yesterday and I went to crawl into my bed last night, silent alarms went off and I knew I would have to prepare for another round of adventure. I pulled back my covers and there lay a plastic dagger belonging to my four-year-old grandson.  Let the games begin!