Wednesday, May 14, 2014

THE TABOO I AM WILLING TO TALK ABOUT: EMOTIONAL CONSEQUENCES


You know, abortion isn’t a topic that is just nonchalantly mentioned at the dinner table but when the topic is brought up, there are some pretty strong opinions.  Harsh words can shut people down in a heartbeat and for those who do have this issue in their past, it  will  cause them to retreat into a world of silence.  They feel that their voice will not be heard over the passionate, strong voices of others on the topic.

I think many people have a preconceived idea of the type of person who would go through with an abortion.   They don’t seem to take into account the circumstances surrounding the choice. I would like to introduce to you in this article the emotional consequences of this decision.

The abortion procedure itself can be a very traumatic experience to the woman’s body. This can cause her to experience Post Abortion Syndrome which is much like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Many women can dilute the symptoms of this for years with the use of drugs and alcohol. However, when they stop the use of such substances, the guilt-ridden secret that lingers in the attached shadow of that person still remains  for the body and mind to deal with. One moment in time, one decision, one act that they felt was right for them at the time can end up causing them a life of torment that now affects every person with whom they come in contact.

The physical consequences of abortion can be helped or dealt with using the assistance of the medical field, although some of those issues may never receive complete healing.  Emotional healing, on the other hand, will depend more on the woman herself.   This is something that can take years to accomplish, but ultimately she has to be the one to make the decision to claim that healing.

One thing that needs to be understood is that statistics say that 98% of the women who make this choice end up regretting it.  One might have a hard time understanding the mental torment that the women AND men go through when they come to terms with what they have done.  I include the men in this because many times we only hear about the women, but what about the men who were involved? The truth of the matter is that many of these men did not even get to have a voice about what happened to their child. Other men who did persuade the woman to go through with it are now plagued with guilt over their decision.  These moms and dads are tormented with flashbacks and a grief that seems will never go away. They battle thoughts of suicide. They are locked in a mental dungeon, bound by chains. Because of their fear of judgment and rejection, close relationships are hard to develop.  They feel the fewer people who are involved in their lives, the safer their secret is.

Although eating disorders could fall under physical consequences, it is also related to the emotions.   So often the women will feel the need to punish themselves.  They feel that dealing with the pain and issues that are brought on by eating disorders, or even the drug and alcohol abuse for that matter,  will be much easier to handle than the pain of the memories of their abortion.

Many memories may be repressed for these women which may be a natural defense mechanism of the body. However, over the years, certain facts may be brought back to them or addressed through new information given to them through media, classes and such. Then they are then forced to have to deal with one more thing regarding their past. Many will relive their past on the anniversary date or month, resulting in severe depression and outbursts of anger and remorse.

Women can also suffer insomnia, sleep walking episodes and recurrent nightmares which destroy their chance for rest of any kind during the night. Sleep aids may be needed to assist them with this. Others may use background noise to try to block out the noise in their minds or to distract the nightmares that fight to enter into their rest.

Panic attacks can occur at very random times. If the subject of abortion is brought up on radio or TV shows, it can cause anxiety. These times are easy to escape because the channel can just be changed. However, when the subject is brought up in a discussion or a Sunday school class or sermon, escape is not so easy. The panic comes when they realize that there is no way to get away from hearing truth and coming face to face with facts. A feeling of thinking that everybody knows “the secret” can be overwhelming.  Once a post-abortive woman comes to the point that she is willing to be healed emotionally, a whole new set of anxieties may present themselves.

Loss of self confidence is a problem that plagues these women as well. In light of their history of making poor choices, they will question themselves on decisions brought before them on many levels. Both men and women can doubt their parenting skills with future children they may have as they feel inadequate as a protector.

If you are someone who has suffered from these symptoms regarding the chains of your past, I want to encourage you that freedom is available. Leviticus 26:13 states that “I  broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with your heads held high.”  You can follow the links below to order a copy of The Secrets Behind the Eyes or visit my facebook page and message me. I would be happy to help you walk through that healing process. If you are someone who has not experienced this pain, I hope that you can look at these men and women in a new light.  As a nation, we need to mourn the children that are no more due to this decision. However, the mothers and fathers of these children are still here and they need healing. Have compassion on them and help them get to the foot of the cross where true healing can be found.