Our
lives are based on relationships. Relationships with family, friends, our
church, with God, employers, employees and believe it or not, everyone who
crosses our path. Too often, however ,
we get so wrapped up in taking care of ourselves and get so focused on our own little world that we don't give
ourselves fully to the people that are around us, even the ones closest to us. From time to time we need to remember what it
takes to nurture the relationships in our lives. Are you all there for people? Are you
committed to anybody other than yourself? Ouch.
Is there really anything so important in your day that you cannot be
interrupted? Most of the things that surround us are just distractions that
hinder our relationships. We need to get a vision of what we want our
relationships to look like and then take the steps necessary to reach those
goals. Perhaps there are things that need cleared from our schedules. Perhaps
there are things you need to work on in your own life to be able to be more
transparent.
I did a fun activity with the kids from our youth group last week. Each child was paired up with a partner.
Each pair was given a knife, a plate and a banana. The instructions were to cut the banana up,
deciding as partners who would do the cutting and how many pieces they would
cut it into. I had only one girl team
and they quietly discussed their plan. They made one neat slice across the
middle of the banana, then stepped away from their plate. The younger boys made
several neat slices and stepped away from their plates. Two of my older boys in the group, however,
sliced and diced their banana every which way until it was almost mashed up
enough to feed the new baby born into our church family. They finally stepped
away from their plate.
They all waited for further
instruction as I looked around at each team’s plate before smiling and saying, “Now
put it back together.” Jaws
dropped. You can imagine which team had
their jaws drop the furthest. I
continued, “On the table, you will find clothes pins, tape, yarn and tooth
picks. Your banana must look exactly as it did when I first handed it to you.” The
girls gently took their banana and secured the two halves with tooth picks then
wrapped a piece of tape around it. Some of the boys got the inside of the
banana looking pretty close but could not get the peel back on. The older boys worked fast and furious, but
truly there was no hope for their poor banana.
When every was cleaned up we discussed the lesson which you have probably
figured out by now. When we cut up and
damage our relationships, most of the time we want to try to reconcile them and
put them back together, but they will never be the same again. Even with the
girls who only made one cut, there was still a scar. The ones who mutilated their “relationship”
tried very hard to get it back together, but there was no hope at all. That “relationship”
could never be repaired. It can really
give us a visual and hopefully help us to understand that the relationships
around us are so fragile.
One parent and I were talking later about the experiment and after I
said that those relationships would never be the same, she agreed, then said, “Sometimes
they can look better.” I pondered those
words and she was absolutely right. I
thought about our marriages specifically.
We can say and do things to hurt our spouses. We can go through tough
times, but as we work through it, it becomes a milestone that we can look back
on and remind ourselves that we were overcomers. We are stronger as we learn to weather the
storms together. I can see that
happening with friendships and other relationships as well. The kids were able
to use reinforcements to put the bananas back together. They SECURED them with
other items to make the banana hold together stronger. We can do the same
thing. We can SECURE our relationships with the foundation of God’s Word, with
the new tools of communication, with new eyes of compassion toward the other. Our
relationships can be strengthened through the lessons learned in the storms.
I want to encourage you to slow down and really take the time to see who
is around you. Take a moment and really look at your child. Your spouse and children are around every
day, but when is the last time you really looked at them and appreciated who
they were? I challenge you to take the time to truly see people who come across
your path this week. Look people in the eye and smile. Relationships are
important and reconciliation can be so healing. If there are things that need
to be taken care of, please do it. You are not guaranteed tomorrow. Live your life with no regrets in those
relationships!
