Have a Cup of Jo

Good morning! Pull up a chair and have a cup of Jo(e) with me.  Have you found that a pot of coffee tastes better when it is shared with a friend? Why is that?  I think part of it is that it is probably the one point in our day that we are relaxed. We can just sit and enjoy a conversation with a friend.  We can laugh, we can cry and just be us.

What gets us to that point of friendship though? It is a process. I have to admit, I am a bit of a recluse. I have always struggled with being shy from the time I was little. As I grew, it didn't get any better. In fact, I would have rather crossed the street if I saw somebody walking up the sidewalk towards me for fear I would have to look up and say 'hi'. People scared me to death.

I remember a comedian back in the day (the 80's were 'my day') said that "it is the quiet girls you have to be careful around because they have skeletons in their closets. The reason they are quiet is because they are afraid if they speak, one of those bones may come up and choke them in the throat." Maybe. We all have our stories, that is for sure! My husband told me one day, "Honey, you need to get a friend outside of the church."  My response was, "And how am I supposed to do that? I homeschool and I go to church. That's it!" 

So reader, you are my friend. Oh, of course I have friends, in the church and outside but life just gets so busy for all of us that it is hard to personally connect in today's world. It's not easy to make friends. We have to take risks by tearing down any walls we may have and let them into our world. We need to learn to look people in the eye and realize that they may have walls built up as well. We need to learn to trust each other. I truly believe there is a reason why each person crosses our paths. We can learn something from them but you may also have something they need: a kind word, a healing touch, a listening ear.  Make the most of every opportunity! Build those relationships! Invite your friend over for a cup of Joe!

Have a blessed day!

Whatcha Thinkin'?

We all probably understand at this point how much different a woman's mind is from a man's. Men are said to be waffles and they compartmentalize their thoughts. They think only about what is inside the ONE box they are in at that time.  Women on the other hand are said to be like plates of spaghetti. Their thought process is such that they have to touch each noodle that is on that plate.

My husband asked me one day, "Whatcha thinkin'?"  I am reminded of the first episode I watched of the sitcom, Titus, in which it was flashing back to when Christopher Titus was a small boy and he was heading towards a light socket and was going to put something in it. His mother is frantic but Papa Titus is sitting calmly in his chair, saying, "No, no. Let him do it. He will only do it once." The kid gets zapped and learns his lesson. Sort of the same thing that happened when my husband asked me "Whatcha thinkin'?" I touched every piece of spaghetti on my plate to answer that one question. Hmmm. Yep. The kid got zapped and lesson learned. 

That's okay. I made the same mistake and was just as disappointed.  We were watching TV one night and I snuggled up next to my husband, hoping he would notice my new perfume and comment on it.  "Whatcha thinkin'," I asked flirtatiously.  He looked at me with his deep blue eyes. "I'm thinking about the show on TV," he said as if that were a silly question.  He was in the TV box and that was all he could think about at that time. 

Although it was hard for us to understand each other that way, we have been able to get used to it. My husband very hesitantly asked me one day the question again. "Whatcha thinkin'?" I could almost see him wince. I didn't overwhelm him with information this time. I gave a very simple answer and  I smiled and said, "Was that so hard?"

On the other hand, I have studied and learned my husband also. As we were following a slow moving vehicle the other day, I noticed how quiet he was. I wondered what he was thinking and reasoned that he was probably cursing the car in front of us since that was what was in "his box" at the time. However, I questioned myself because normally he would voice that frustration out loud. I wanted to test my theory and asked, "Whatcha thinkin'?"   His answer was spot on, "I'm wondering why this car is going so slow!" We chuckled as I told him my thought process in that moment and I pondered how we were able to make our vast thinking differences work without it causing major conflict every time.

The moral(?) of the story I guess would be:  Waffles and spaghetti can go well together as long as they are seasoned correctly. 

Enjoy your day!

What Do You Have to Offer?

Often we can fall into the trap of thinking that we don't have anything to offer.  Have you been there?  I believe that comes when we compare ourselves to others.   It seems that everybody else got all the talent and I just got leftovers. It seems that every other woman has so much class and here I am, perfectly comfortable in my jeans and t-shirt.  But it's okay. It's me.

It used to eat me up that "compared to everybody else" I had nothing to offer. That is completely untrue I am learning. I love how it takes all of us to make things work.   There are people that I will never be able to reach and relate to with the knowledge I have. I need everyone around me to cover the bases that I can't.   However, there are people that only I can reach through my life experiences and my quirky personality. So ya'll need me too.

It is kind of a tag team situation. I am very keen on the gifts of my friends. So when someone comes to me needing something that I cannot fulfill , I have a wealth of resources to which  I can direct people.  There have been people directed to me as well for the same reason. 

Instead of getting jealous of the gifts of others and falling into the self pity trap, let's work together. Get to know the people around you so that you understand what they have to offer and what resource category they can fill for  you.   Learn to appreciate their gifts and learn to recognize your own. The Bible says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Claim that and live like it! 

Who Are You?

I read a great book right now called You Are a Writer (So Start Acting Like It) by Jeff Goins.   I have never had a how-to book make me cry, but this one has.  I shared with one of my facebook groups and with my husband yesterday that I think it has finally hit me that I am a writer.

I wrote throughout high school, the dark poems that most teens do. Writing at that time was my lifeline and still is but just in a different aspect. When life started happening, however, with marriage and kids , I put the pen down for many years  (almost 20 in fact). 

Going through a bit of a dark spell, I thought I would pick it back up and try getting the thoughts out of my head like I used to in high school so that I could move on with my day.   Again, it was dark poetry but it helped me through.  I think my mom broke the spell. She asked me one day if I would write a poem for my grandmother's hundredth birthday. I agreed but realized that I had never been assigned a poem topic before. I decided what angle I would take it but had to do some research. I had never done that for a poem either. This was all very foreign to me. 

That was five years ago and now I have written two books, an e-booklet and have been a contributing author to four other books. It is just now hitting me that I am a writer.  It overwhelms me because my dreams of becoming an author are finally coming true and I am the one making it happen. How? By writing; not by thinking about it and not by talking about, but actually doing it.

I want to encourage you to figure out who you are. What do you want to do? Then do it! Who do you want to be? Then be it!  It's up to you. Be who you were created to be and then let your passion shine through!

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