My husband, Dallas, was actually the one who wanted to homeschool to begin with so I count myself blessed that he has been on board from the beginning. He has worked very hard to make sure that I could stay home and focus on the kids.
I had been a working mom for many years and always cut myself some slack if the house wasn't very tidy. After I chose to come home, however, I felt that my house should always be clean and my laundry folded (even the socks) and dishes done, but found myself falling so short. I would try to make sure I started straightening up the house before my husband got home so that he could walk into a clean home. I knew the frustration of walking into a messy house after working all day.
Dallas came home one day and I was still on the floor with the kids, books scattered all around us. I looked up at him and said, "I am so sorry that the the house has not been clean lately when you come home."
He made a statement that day to me that made me rethink my priorities. His response was, "I would much rather come home and see you spending time with our children than seeing you neglecting them in order to have a clean house." It was like a whole weight had been lifted off my shoulders!
As time went on, Dallas started getting in the habit of calling me early in the day and needing some errands run. The boys and I would put our stuff away for the day because I knew I would not be able to get their full attention back after running around. I never said anything to my husband. In June, he decided to come to the homeschool convention with me and I strategically planned for him to attend certain workshops. There were some topics specifically for homeschooling fathers and I thought it might give my him more of an idea of what I do with the boys during the day. This was something that definitely worked in my favor!
We got in the car to head home that first night and before even turning the car on, my husband looked at me and said, "I really disrupt your schedule during the week, don't I?" I was not prepared for that, but I looked at him and nodded my head. He said, "I want to apologize for that first of all. Do you think it could work if you schooled the boys Monday through Thursday and we used Fridays for appointments and errands?" I was so thankful that he was able to see the importance of what we did during the day and was willing to come up with an alternative.
Dallas has become very protective of the time I spend schooling and he has been able to set some boundaries when I have a hard time setting them. These rules aren't so much for the kids but for my friends who think that since I am a stay-at-home mom, I am available at all hours. It was getting out of hand at one point so my husband assisted me in letting others know that if they called before 2:00 p.m., they would have to leave a message and I would call them back when we were finished with school for the day.
I love that my husband looks for opportunities for teachable moments with our boys as well. He loves history and loves engaging in conversations about that. If there is a building project or a side job that he knows will teach them some life skills, he takes them along. The most valuable role I have seen my husband take on though is teaching our sons the importance of being men of God and men of their word. He has taught them to respect their elders and to respect women. He holds them accountable and always brings them back to God's Word. He has had to discipline them but always comes back and loves on them and they are able to discuss the issue at hand. He has been able to come alongside me and see what their talents are so that we can nurture those gifts. He supports them in their sports but is also able to guide them in their relationships with friends and girlfriends.
My husband plays such an important role as a homeschool dad. I am so thankful for the opportunity he provided for us to do this. It is fun to share a passion such as this with him and have one more thing as common ground. WE love homeschooling together!
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